The start of yet another journey

Weight has been a big concern for me all my life and when I look back at younger pictures of me, I am a pretty slender little girl. I didn't really have a problem with my weight until I started high school. I'd eat what I normally ate, including chocolate and crisps and be quite down as I wasn't like all the other girls in school. I was picked on a lot at school because I was larger and taller than the other people (I was 5'11 almost, throughout most of school) and in turn this made me more concerned about my weight and how I looked. For many years at school I then became an outsider really with a small group of friends and changed how I looked so I didn't fit in. At stages I had purple and black hair and thought myself better to be original so that I didn't have to compare myself to anyone else.

Then in 2000 at the age of 15 I went away for two weeks on a drama course and lost a lot of weight due to the hours we were putting in and I came back at 11st (154lb) which I was more than happy with as I had more energy and felt better in myself getting into size 14 clothes. Every year after that though I have put on roughly 14lbs in weight every year. I left school in 2002 and went to college to do a years course in technical theatre and it was here I really felt I had let myself go. I have pictures of myself in my dress that I thought was pretty at the time, but looking back I look a state. I must have been around 14st at this stage. It was here I had my first proper boyfriend and he put me down a lot which did nothing for my confidence at all. I finally got rid of him about 7 months into the college course. Looking back though I did eat a lot of junk.

I then went on to university in 2003 to do a degree in stage management and theatre production. I stayed in halls for the first year and I hated it. I didn't get on with the people I stayed with as they were throwing parties at all hours and the kitchen was never tidied by them. I felt really low. Luckily I was able to leave this early as unfortunately I tore all the ligaments around my left knee and wasn't able to manage the stairs in the flats so I moved back home. I was in a leg brace for about 4 months and because of my immobility put on yet more weight. My second year was slightly better when I moved in above my uni with a friend. It went well and I liked my own space, but with uni life I was drinking too much beer and alcohol and eating too many takeaways. I left uni at the age of 21 in 2006 at 16st 2lb (226lb).

Just after my 21st bday I got chatting to my now boyfriend, Jason. We met online and have gone from strength to strength. I moved in with him in October 2006 and so far everything has gone smoothly bar neither of us having a job right now.

I have had to adjust to being with Jason as he is allergic to tomatoes and mushrooms, so they have pretty much been cut from the household and I do miss the tomatoes and I am always looking for an alternative for pasta sauces. He also has ulcerative colitis so curries and spicy foods are out too. It is now January 2008. I started Weight watchers yet again after many failed attempts and I am really keen on it working this time. My starting weight this time was 18st 5lbs and my weigh ins are on Sundays. I just had my first weigh in and I lost 6lbs which I am really happy about and has motivated me to carry on.

I have never really overate on the wrong foods. I am not keen on chips or fast food or really greasy fried food. I love salad and wholemeal foods. My goal is to get back down to 12st but realistically I'm just looking to get to my 10% goal just now which is to get down to 16st 6lb and I'm looking to get there for my 23rd birthday on 6th may.

Here you can follow my story, my gripes, my celebrations and my lows. I hope you enjoy my blog.

Loz x